It has been 5 years since my body first birthed death; since having to say hello and goodbye all in one breath.⠀
This boy made me a mother of sons, but I walked out of the hospital empty handed and broken hearted that weekend.⠀
I will never forget those moments. The moments of dropping my eldest son off at friends, so I could go to the hospital alone to birth a baby I knew I wouldn’t be taking home. The moments of calling my husband halfway around the world to tell him our son had died. The pain, and the heartbreak, and the sorrow still feels as close as it was that day.⠀
You don’t get over loss. You don’t just move on, and forget that they ever existed. The world moves forward, but we carry the pain and the love deep within us. Loss changes us, and the sorrow becomes integrated into our very being as we learn how to navigate life after loss.⠀
Josiah... today we remember you. You gave me a passion to break down the stigma around pregnancy + infant loss and to give women the freedom to grieve. Even though your tiny feet never left imprints on this earth, you have left a legacy.