My Great Divorce: Leaving Behind the Evangelical Church
Deconstruction Grief Secondary LossesMelissa Sulley
Calvin* and I began experiencing strains in our relationship prior to my first experience with grief. The exclusivity, intensity, and pride that characterized our interactions had begun to weigh on my heart. I was playing a part; whitewashing my tomb. I said all the right things, behaved in all the right ways, but behind closed doors I was suffocating. I knew our divorce was inevitable the day my step dad died. Our pastor sat me down and explained to me how God was glorified by sending my loved one to hell. I nodded my head, thanked him for his...
5 Ways to Support Others through Pregnancy & Infant Loss
Grief Pregnancy + Infant Loss SupportMelissa Sulley
At some point in our lives we will be faced with supporting a friend through loss. Even though grief is inevitable in all of our lives, we are left wondering "What should I say?" "What should I do?" "How can I support my friend?" Here is a list of 5 ways you can support others through loss. 1. Practice Empathy Be empathic, not sympathetic. Be willing to sit in the roughness of grief, don't sugarcoat it. Let them know their feelings are valid, and you are holding space for them. Watch the video by Bréne Brown on empathy - it’s an...
When someone dies. How to talk to your kids about death.
Grief Loss Parenting after loss Pregnancy + Infant Loss ResourcesMelissa Sulley
Our family is no stranger to grief. In the past 5 years we’ve experienced 7 miscarriages (most within the second trimester), the death of my grandmother, and the sudden death of my husband’s father. My son still cries out for his Papa and will often make comments about wanting to die so he can see him.
I need you to know, my 6 year old son is not suicidal. He is processing his grief. We have chosen not to shield our children from the reality of death, but rather normalize talk around death and dying.
Navigating Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy after loss is an emotional rollercoaster. It can be filled with fear, joy, guilt, love, excitement, grief, relief, pressure, exhaustion... and a whole lot of anxiety. This is 100% normal, and it's completely okay to feel all these things at the same time. As I currently navigate my 10th pregnancy after recurrent loss, I bounce all the time between excitement and fear, anxiety and joy. I dream about holding a newborn and then tell myself to not get my hopes up in case I jinx it. I am very much aware of the realities of pregnancy and all the...
My Top 6 Grief Essentials
Grief Miscarriage Pregnancy + Infant Loss Resources Stillbirth SupportMelissa Sulley
We all will experience grief of sorts in our life and yet it is rarely talked about. So when we are confronted with grief we often don’t know how to navigate through it, we get stuck. I’ve been journeying through grief now for 12 years. My journey started when my step-father passed away suddenly in 2008 and has continued these past 6 years as I’ve navigated through recurrent second-trimester pregnancy loss. I’m well acquainted with grief; we’ve become good buddies butting heads every now and then. As I’ve navigated through this journey here are a few things that have been...