josiah+co. Blog — Secondary Losses

When we think of grief, we often think of the immediate, tangible losses: a loved one, a relationship, or a dream. But what about the grief that hides in the shadows? The parts of our lives that quietly unravel in the aftermath of loss?

These are the silent griefs. The ones no one talks about.

Grief is a deeply personal and often isolating experience. It comes in many forms, each with its unique weight and complexity. Whether you are mourning the child you never got to meet, the partner you thought you’d grow old with, or the faith that once gave you a sense of certainty, grief leaves its mark. It changes you—but it doesn’t have to define you forever. Perhaps your grief is tied to the version of yourself you thought you’d be by now—the one who imagined a life filled with joy, stability, and dreams realized. Or maybe your loss is less tangible...

Calvin* and I began experiencing strains in our relationship prior to my first experience with grief. The exclusivity, intensity, and pride that characterized our interactions had begun to weigh on my heart. I was playing a part; whitewashing my tomb. I said all the right things, behaved in all the right ways, but behind closed doors I was suffocating.   I knew our divorce was inevitable the day my step dad died. Our pastor sat me down and explained to me how God was glorified by sending my loved one to hell. I nodded my head, thanked him for his...