josiah+co. Blog — Loss

Grief is a deeply personal and often isolating experience. It comes in many forms, each with its unique weight and complexity. Whether you are mourning the child you never got to meet, the partner you thought you’d grow old with, or the faith that once gave you a sense of certainty, grief leaves its mark. It changes you—but it doesn’t have to define you forever. Perhaps your grief is tied to the version of yourself you thought you’d be by now—the one who imagined a life filled with joy, stability, and dreams realized. Or maybe your loss is less tangible...

This New Years felt different for me. There was no rushing to craft resolutions or setting lofty goals. Instead, it felt like a significant moment—a deep ‘settling in.’ Settling into myself, my journey, and all the ways my life has shifted in the past few years. A Journey of Transformation The past five years have brought immense change, profound loss, and bittersweet growth. As a single co-parent to three earth-side kiddos, I’ve navigated life’s complexities with as much grace as I could muster. There’s been recurrent miscarriage, the shift from a partnered life to a solo one, and the unraveling...

Our family is no stranger to grief. In the past 5 years we’ve experienced 7 miscarriages (most within the second trimester), the death of my grandmother, and the sudden death of my husband’s father. My son still cries out for his Papa and will often make comments about wanting to die so he can see him.

I need you to know, my 6 year old son is not suicidal. He is processing his grief. We have chosen not to shield our children from the reality of death, but rather normalize talk around death and dying.

This past decade has been extremely painful and beautiful; full of grief and joy.   I graduated university. Left my church. Moved cities. Had my heart broken. Lost friends.   I fell in love with Hamilton. Found a new church. Made new friends.   I discovered the Holy Spirit. Lost my faith. Discovered new expressions of faith. Left the church again.   I became a wife and a mother.   I birthed both life and death.   I broke up with myself as I learned how to parent, and learned how to parent after loss, again and again and again....

Three years ago, I joined the shittiest club in the world. I thought this club would make me "better." You know, heal all the wounds I had experienced; whatever that means. I'm getting ahead of myself though - you see, three years ago we lost a child. We already had two healthy, alive children, and we weren't expecting anything different with this one either. My wife was eight days overdue with our third, and we were prepared. The kids were ready, the room and crib were prepared, the holy-shit-it's-time-hospital bag was packed and ready to go. We were ready. Until...