josiah+co. Blog — Grief

8 Years of Missing You

Melissa Sulley Grief Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Pregnancy + Infant Loss Stillbirth

8 Years of Missing You

8 years of missing you. The sting of your absence has stretched out with time. At certain moments the scar gets scratched open and the salty triggers remind me of all we are missing and have missed. Brothers chasing each other in the greenhouse, and imagining you with yours.Pregnancy announcements, even still, and the breath I hold desperately hoping they make it.Dear friends with two under 2, and the reminder of how desperately I wanted you and your brother close in age. The birth of fresh new babies, even after holding three healthy ones of my own. The sadness that...

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My Great Divorce: Leaving Behind the Evangelical Church

Melissa Sulley Deconstruction Grief Secondary Losses

My Great Divorce: Leaving Behind the Evangelical Church

Calvin* and I began experiencing strains in our relationship prior to my first experience with grief. The exclusivity, intensity, and pride that characterized our interactions had begun to weigh on my heart. I was playing a part; whitewashing my tomb. I said all the right things, behaved in all the right ways, but behind closed doors I was suffocating.   I knew our divorce was inevitable the day my step dad died. Our pastor sat me down and explained to me how God was glorified by sending my loved one to hell. I nodded my head, thanked him for his...

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5 Ways to Support Others through Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Melissa Sulley Grief Pregnancy + Infant Loss Support

5 Ways to Support Others through Pregnancy & Infant Loss

At some point in our lives we will be faced with supporting a friend through loss. Even though grief is inevitable in all of our lives, we are left wondering "What should I say?" "What should I do?" "How can I support my friend?" Here is a list of 5 ways you can support others through loss.   1. Practice Empathy Be empathic, not sympathetic. Be willing to sit in the roughness of grief, don't sugarcoat it. Let them know their feelings are valid, and you are holding space for them. Watch the video by Bréne Brown on empathy - it’s an...

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When someone dies. How to talk to your kids about death.

Melissa Sulley Grief Loss Parenting after loss Pregnancy + Infant Loss Resources

When someone dies. How to talk to your kids about death.

Our family is no stranger to grief. In the past 5 years we’ve experienced 7 miscarriages (most within the second trimester), the death of my grandmother, and the sudden death of my husband’s father. My son still cries out for his Papa and will often make comments about wanting to die so he can see him.

I need you to know, my 6 year old son is not suicidal. He is processing his grief. We have chosen not to shield our children from the reality of death, but rather normalize talk around death and dying.

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My Top 6 Grief Essentials

Melissa Sulley Grief Miscarriage Pregnancy + Infant Loss Resources Stillbirth Support

My Top 6 Grief Essentials

We all will experience grief of sorts in our life and yet it is rarely talked about. So when we are confronted with grief we often don’t know how to navigate through it, we get stuck. I’ve been journeying through grief now for 12 years. My journey started when my step-father passed away suddenly in 2008 and has continued these past 6 years as I’ve navigated through recurrent second-trimester pregnancy loss. I’m well acquainted with grief; we’ve become good buddies butting heads every now and then.  As I’ve navigated through this journey here are a few things that have been...

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