This past decade has been extremely painful and beautiful; full of grief and joy.
I graduated university. Left my church. Moved cities. Had my heart broken. Lost friends.
I fell in love with Hamilton. Found a new church. Made new friends.
I discovered the Holy Spirit. Lost my faith. Discovered new expressions of faith.
Left the church again.
I became a wife
and a mother.
I birthed both life and death.
I broke up with myself as I learned how to parent,
and learned how to parent after loss, again and again and again.
I held death in my hands too many times; and buried loved ones who lived full lives.
There are no words for the pain this decade has caused.
I contemplated ending my life, but instead I learned how to crochet. I turned my pain into beauty, and I built a business, a brand, a community.
I found community. I made new friendships, and discovered a love for tacos and margaritas.
I’ve learned my body is not the enemy.
My body is to be embraced.
I’ve learned to lean into pain, even so hesitantly.
I’ve experienced unbearable pain
and excruciating joy.
This decade hurt like hell,
and it grew me.
I’m a fighter,
and I’m not ready to give up.
2020 I’m so fucking ready for you.