Navigating grief + joy — Stillbirth

Remembering Josiah

Melissa Sulley Pregnancy + Infant Loss Stillbirth

Remembering Josiah

It has been 5 years since my body first birthed death; since having to say hello and goodbye all in one breath.⠀ This boy made me a mother of sons, but I walked out of the hospital empty handed and broken hearted that weekend.⠀ I will never forget those moments. The moments of dropping my eldest son off at friends, so I could go to the hospital alone to birth a baby I knew I wouldn’t be taking home. The moments of calling my husband halfway around the world to tell him our son had died. The pain, and the...

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You are not broken

Melissa Sulley Grief Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Parenting after loss Stillbirth

You are not broken

She bleeds deep red, her womb no longer home. Weeping in the night, she’s torn apart by sorrow.

Emptiness becomes her. When will I carry life again? she asks, will death encompass me forever?

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From heartbreak to healing

Melissa Sulley faith Grief Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Stillbirth Support

Five years ago I had a dream. I had a dream that I gave birth to a son, our second son. His name was Josiah, and I was told Josiah meant ‘God heals’. Little did I know months later I would become pregnant with this second son of mine, and I would have to say goodbye too soon. I can still feel the cold jelly on my bare stomach as the ultrasound tech left the room to ‘check that the images were turning out okay.’ My swollen belly exposed to an empty room, the minutes passing, and my mind running...

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Josiah: Remembered Still

Melissa Sulley Grief Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources Stillbirth Support

4 years ago today I birthed our second born.⠀⠀I didn’t get to leave the hospital with him.⠀⠀I didn’t get to feel his warmth or give him his first bath.⠀⠀I didn’t get to watch him grow or learn to walk or talk or ride a bike.⠀⠀I didn’t even get to whisper goodbye to a listening ear.⠀⠀I walked out empty handed and broken-hearted.⠀⠀Some parents don’t get to parent their second born.⠀⠀They are left to navigate the waters of parenting after loss, of loving and grieving, breathing and dying all at the same time.⠀⠀We don’t get to choose our paths.⠀⠀And to be honest,...

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