Navigating grief + joy — Parenting after loss

Josiah: Remembered Still

Melissa Sulley Grief Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources Stillbirth Support

4 years ago today I birthed our second born.⠀⠀I didn’t get to leave the hospital with him.⠀⠀I didn’t get to feel his warmth or give him his first bath.⠀⠀I didn’t get to watch him grow or learn to walk or talk or ride a bike.⠀⠀I didn’t even get to whisper goodbye to a listening ear.⠀⠀I walked out empty handed and broken-hearted.⠀⠀Some parents don’t get to parent their second born.⠀⠀They are left to navigate the waters of parenting after loss, of loving and grieving, breathing and dying all at the same time.⠀⠀We don’t get to choose our paths.⠀⠀And to be honest,...

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Caught in a dance

Melissa Sulley faith Grief Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Support

I’m caught in a dance. The dance between life and death, hope and despair. Stuck somewhere between belief and disbelief. Some days I keep it together. I’m strong and full of hope, laughter falling from my lips. Other days I fall apart on the inside. My emotions escape me, my impatience surprises me. And I’m ridden with guilt. The cloud of grief quietly consumes me, but I don’t even know it. I’m a peacemaker. A nine to the tee on the enneagram. I avoid conflict, I run from my inner turmoil. If I’m being honest, I don’t really want to...

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Even still

Melissa Sulley faith Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources

What has been one of the most painful seasons of my life has also been one of the most joy filled. It’s a bittersweet dichotomy. The beauty alongside the pain. They go hand in hand.

I wouldn’t have Eliyanah without the loss. I wouldn’t have Ezekiel without the shameful journey of pregnancy before marriage. The pain, the shame, the guilt, the questions, I’d do it all over again. A million times over.

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I miss the One who weeps

Melissa Sulley faith Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources

I miss the One who weeps

I didn’t grow up in the church.

I walked into the church as a broken 20 year old.

Surrounded by “perfect” Christians I quickly felt out of place.

We tend to hide our imperfections. We say there’s room for grace, we speak it out loud, but don’t confess our own need for it.

We put sin on a scale. And I felt like the prostitute weeping at Jesus’ feet with no one around me saying “me too”.

There’s room for grace. You need it. But me, I’m good.

 

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Loosing Lyric + Finding Jesus - Kayla's Story

Melissa Sulley faith Guest Post Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Motherhood October Parenting after loss Pregnancy after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources Support

Loosing Lyric + Finding Jesus - Kayla's Story

In honour of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, we are honoured to share Kayla Leskiw's story with you. Kayla is a Christ Follower, a wife, and a mother. Her and her husband, Branton, have three children Heaven-side (Lyric, Arianna & Lael), and they just welcomed their Rainbow Baby, Orlo, earlier this year. Kayla is passionate about health & wellness, and she radiates hope, joy and life.

This is her story.

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