faith Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Parenting after loss Pregnancy after loss

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I was convinced this babe was our Sequoia.

The long awaited for one after another late loss.

The harvest after a long winter.

Our final babe to complete our family.

I believed my season had come, that this seed would turn into my Sequoia.

Yet now, I'm thrown back into a long winter. Back into a season of waiting.

My soul is tired. It's so so tired. And uncertainty descends.

"Melt the ice of this wild soul, till the barren is beautiful" .... till the barren is beautiful.

Can I handle another winter? Can I handle another season of mourning, and waiting, and not knowing?

One thing I do know, is that this waiting, this longing, will bring about a greater appreciation for our last little babe.

It doesn't take the pain of loss away. It doesn't make the winter less frigid, but it does make it a little more bearable.

I really do believe that my season will come. And this is how I hang on to hope amidst the immeasurable pain.

"Though my waiting prolongs even greater, your promise for me like a seed, I believe that my season will come.... And when I finally see my tree, still I believe there's a season to come."

Seasons - Words and Music by Chris Davenport, Benjamin Hastings & Ben Tan

Like the frost on a rose

Winter comes for us all

Oh how nature acquaints us

With the nature of patience

Like a seed in the snow

I’ve been buried to grow

For Your promise is loyal

From seed to sequoia

I know

Though the winter is long even richer

The harvest it brings

Though my waiting prolongs even greater

Your promise for me like a seed

I believe that my season will come

Lord I think of Your love

Like the low winter sun

As I gaze I am blinded

In the light of Your brightness

Like a fire to the snow

I’m renewed in Your warmth

Melt the ice of this wild soul

Till the barren is beautiful

I can see the promise

I can see the future

You’re the God of seasons

I’m just in the winter

If all I know of harvest

Is that it’s worth my patience

Then if You’re not done working

God I’m not done waiting

You can see my promise

Even in the winter

Cause You’re the God of greatness

Even in a manger

For all I know of seasons

Is that You take Your time

You could have saved us in a second

Instead You sent a child

And when I finally see my tree

Still I believe there’s a season to come

Like a seed You were sown

For the sake of us all

From Bethlehem’s soil

Grew Calvary’s sequoia

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