Carried: Navigating grief + joy — Parenting after loss

The Shittiest Club Around - Jason's Story

Melissa Sulley Grief Guest Post Loss Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Support

The Shittiest Club Around - Jason's Story

Three years ago, I joined the shittiest club in the world. I thought this club would make me "better." You know, heal all the wounds I had experienced; whatever that means. I'm getting ahead of myself though - you see, three years ago we lost a child. We already had two healthy, alive children, and we weren't expecting anything different with this one either. My wife was eight days overdue with our third, and we were prepared. The kids were ready, the room and crib were prepared, the holy-shit-it's-time-hospital bag was packed and ready to go. We were ready. Until...

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The art of crochet + storytelling

Melissa Sulley Grief Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Parenting after loss

My grief had become unbearable.Pushed down and ignored, it came to a bubbling point after our ‘rainbow baby’ arrived.This was supposed to be a joyful time, wasn’t it? I was supposed to be happy and ecstatic that our ‘rainbow’ was finally here. Wasn’t she supposed to wipe all the grief away? Heal the pain of our previous losses?Instead of joy, and delight, and gratefulness, I was drowning in fear, and anger, and guilt. As I held my screaming newborn I would dose off in daydreams, finding myself running away to far away places or driving my car off a cliff.I...

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Sitting together

Melissa Sulley faith Grief Loss Miscarriage Awareness Parenting after loss

Sitting together

I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it means to wrestle together. To provide each other with the space and freedom to ask some of the deepest questions we have buried deep within.Grief has a tendency to cause these questions to bubble up, to rise to the surface until we cannot contain them anymore. Who is God really?Is he actually good?If everything happens for a reason, did God will my babies to die or did God cause x, y and z?Traditionally we have been taught to shove these questions below the surface. How dare we question the God of the...

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The Middle - Aly's Story

Melissa Sulley faith Grief Guest Post Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources Support

The Middle - Aly's Story

Often, we hear stories about pregnancy loss after there’s a happy ending, redemption…a rainbow baby that eases the pain after the storm. There is a definite need for people to hear these stories. They have a place, and they give a sense of hope to families who have lost their unborn babies. These are the types of stories that got me through my first miscarriage. Knowing that this is fairly common (1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage), and that there was light at the end of the tunnel was promising.

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Becoming unpregnant

Melissa Sulley faith Grief Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Support

Becoming unpregnant

I walk a fine line between grief and relief. Grieving the life we lost, and yet relieved I’m no longer pregnant.Grieving the son we will never get to know, and yet relieved because I was terrified to parent three children on earth. I was excited to welcome a third babe on this earth, but I was terrified by how a third...

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