Josiah: Remembered Still

Grief Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy and loss awareness Resources Stillbirth Support

4 years ago today I birthed our second born.⠀

I didn’t get to leave the hospital with him.⠀

I didn’t get to feel his warmth or give him his first bath.⠀

I didn’t get to watch him grow or learn to walk or talk or ride a bike.⠀

I didn’t even get to whisper goodbye to a listening ear.⠀

I walked out empty handed and broken-hearted.⠀

Some parents don’t get to parent their second born.⠀

They are left to navigate the waters of parenting after loss, of loving and grieving, breathing and dying all at the same time.⠀

We don’t get to choose our paths.⠀

And to be honest, it hurts.⠀

It hurts that no matter how carefully you plan out your family, how close you want your kids in age, it may not turn out that way. It stings.⠀

But it is survivable.⠀

You learn to adapt and live with the grief. You learn to keep living without the one who grew inside you.⠀

And here I am, 4 years later. Still without you, still missing you, and still longing for the day we reunite.⠀

Josiah. Today you are remembered, on your birthday. Still.



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